roxilalonde:

fun facts about stephenie meyers siblings ft. my escalating levels of distress and concern:

• all of her siblings’ names (seth, emily, jacob, paul, and heidi) end up in the twilight saga in one way or another
  
• not all incorporations are made equal
• i.e. heidi is a glorified extra who shows up for 2 chapters at the end of the second book whereas jacob is literally the secondary love interest for the entire series
• on a scale from jacob to heidi how bad is your relationship with your sister
• seth and paul are both werewolves
• seth is a sweet, harmless baby brother type in the books and also the name of one of meyer’s sons so im gonna take a leap and say he was steph’s favorite
• except for jacob, who got to be the third billing character in the series while everyone else got to be a tertiary character at best
• emily gets horribly maimed. so uh. thats fun
• on a scale from seth to emily how bad is your relationship with your sister
  
• i cant stop thinking about heidi though like. all of the others have moderate to important roles in the series meanwhile heidi is just some italian chick who eats people and says MAYBE 3 words? she’s like the volturi’s receptionist or something. a fucking receptionist
• all of this is just varying degrees of batshit obviously. i cannot imagine my sister writing me as a character in her pulpy vampire romance novel and us ever being on speaking terms again
• how do you react to that? how do you have a relationship. how do you roll up to thanksgiving and sit across the table from someone who makes $50 million a year off a YA series where YOU are a speaking character
• actually never mind. yeah if my sister made $50 million a year i wouldnt say shit to her about it either
• still though
• somewhere out there is a man named “jacob meyer” who has never known peace